


Anchor

by CheriBambi



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Oneshot, Other, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 06:56:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12475912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheriBambi/pseuds/CheriBambi
Summary: Mako is finally home after a long mission, but quickly finds that Reader hasn't been in the best headspace lately.





	Anchor

**Author's Note:**

> I've been really stressed lately, so I wrote this self-indulgent fic to help me get by.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

The both of you were so happy he was finally home.

Usually, Mako would be sent off frequently on shorter missions. This time around, he was gone for three months – the longest you two have been apart. As you prepared to settle in for the night, you were grateful that Overwatch didn’t need to deploy Mako again any time soon, granting the both of you some much-needed reprieve.

But, still, you couldn’t shake the discontented, sad pit that had been aggressively hollowing out your chest.

You left the restroom door open, idly brushing your teeth as Mako watched from the edge of your bed, hair still damp from his shower; broad shoulders hunched forward as he rested his elbows on his knees. The three months you spent apart felt like three years and, judging by the way his eyes never left you, you guessed that it felt the same for him, too.

Despite the exhaustion that clearly embedded itself throughout his features, he still seemed to be considerably more relaxed since he made it back that afternoon. His hook leaned against a nearby wall, a mirror image of how Mako arrived – worn, bloodied, and clearly in need of some TLC. Though you’ve chided him for leaving the menacing thing out in your bedroom like this in the past, you opted to let it go for tonight. You understood the hook brought some morbid sense of comfort, like an anchor – ever-present, steady, constant.

Mako was a perceptive guy, but he didn’t notice that you were awfully _off_ that day. Grateful the three months finally came and went, you poured in all your energy into faking a smile for him since his arrival. After all, you thought, who would want to be welcomed home by a frown?

You dragged the toothbrush across your teeth, your limbs feeling heavy like lead weights. You stared into your reflection the same way a person would stare into a campfire, mind adrift in whatever existential ennui had you weighed down. This wasn’t the first time it’s happened, but you _mostly_ managed to hide it well enough in the past. You didn’t want to draw attention like this, especially when you were feeling so lost in yourself, not knowing how to put your feelings into words.

Holding your breath, you tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts that had been ghosting past your ears all afternoon. A part of you gave up on staving off the residual sadness as it stubbornly anchored itself in your head, so you focused on getting through the motions instead.

 “—Hey,” Mako said, his voice slightly muffled by his mask. “You ready to turn in?”

Snapping back to reality, you awkwardly spat out your toothpaste as you finished up. You muttered soft _yeah-yeahs_ as you went to his side _,_ pulling the blankets over your legs as if nothing was wrong. You really didn’t want to ruin the night, especially since he was looking forward to spending time together. You remembered how relieved Mako was when he got off the ship, to have finally seen you again. You were relieved, too.

Something in your gaze was distant, though. Distracted, hard to place.

Feeling a large hand rest itself on your knee, you instinctively looked up at him with a weak smile, but had nothing to say.

“Are you okay?” His voice was tired and weary from the trip, you could tell, but filled to the brim with unyielding concern.

For some reason, his question worsened the guilt manifesting in your gut. You hoped he’d let this go or, better yet, not have noticed at all, but you knew Mako better than that.

“Oh, m’fine,” you replied, placing your hand on top of his, gently running your fingertips along his deeply bruised knuckles. For a moment, you wondered which unlucky bastard was on the other end of that punch. “Just tired.”

“I don’t believe you.” Mako tucked his finger under your chin, keeping your focus on him as he inspected you. You could just barely see his eyes behind his mask, pupils moving thoughtfully across your face for some explanation to quell his worry. For a moment, you humored him, staying still with a sigh until you became restless once again.

“Really, Mako, it’s fine,” you finally said, leaning away. Pulling the blankets up farther towards you both, you hoped that would encourage him to just leave it alone and go to sleep.

“Did something happen while I was gone?” he insisted. “Someone hurt you?”

“What? No! No.” Shaking your head, you reached for his hand and gave it a firm squeeze. “It’s just, um, y’know. Some passing mood. Nothing so _dramatic_.” You sheepishly laughed the last word off under your breath, staggered laughter suddenly melting into tears mid-breath as you quickly realized – to your dismay – that your emotions had quickly bounded away from your control. “I promise, I’m ok—”

The last word barely made it out of your mouth as you broke into sobs. With a lump in your throat, you immediately crossed your arms and ducked your head down, drawing your legs closer to your chin.

At first, Mako did nothing. He merely let the first few seconds pass as you hid your face, waiting until he felt it was okay to massage the space between your shoulder blades, palm flat against your back in smooth, reassuring motions. The weight of his hand comforted you, helped anchor you as you miserably tried to compose yourself.

You apologized twice, speaking faster than you intended. “I know you just got back. I didn’t want—”

“Quit that,” he said as he enveloped his arms around you. “Get over here.”

Scooting towards him, you rested your cheek against his chest and found yourself crying again. Words became foreign to you, with even your apologies getting swallowed up by your incoherent, tearful blubbering.

He didn’t rush you while you sobbed, letting you go on until your lungs ran empty. He cradled you as your body quivered with each desperate gasp for air. With a quick glance, you could tell that this was painful for him. You could see there was a somber helplessness behind his thinly-veiled stoicism, something of which only you could detect, in only the most particular of circumstances.

This wasn’t a wound he could try to numb with Hogdrogen. This wasn’t a problem he could crush under his boot.

This was _you_ – the most precious thing in his life –  unexpectedly falling apart before him, and he wasn’t sure if he was the cause.

You looked down and saw some teardrop stains on his pajama shorts, feeling your cheeks darken with embarrassment. Heat kept flashing across your cheeks, and you balled your hands into fists, balling them so tightly you felt your nails dig into your palms.

Mako said your name and gently thumbed your cheek. “—How long has this been going on?”

“I dunno… a long time,” was all you could croak out.

“Why? Did I do something?”

“No, of course not, Mako. It’s me. It’s all me, and I don’t know why…” you said. “I feel numb, heavy. Like I’m a fraud here. I just… I don’t know.”

Mako grunted slightly, took a deep breath, and removed his mask – something he didn’t do often, and not for long, either. Not one for speeches, his blue eyes locked with yours – stern, but loving. “I've seen frauds. You're no fraud. You are good enough. The gorilla likes you, and you’re still here. That’s something.”

Your eyes fell a bit, staring despondently at his hand holding the mask. “I don’t do anything special. I’ve never _done_ anything special.”

“Nothin’ special? Overwatch would’ve shot Jamison and I on sight if it weren’t for you. _You_ got us in, gave us a chance to start over,” he said, voice low with gratitude. “You think any of those other pricks would’ve done that?”

You opened and closed your mouth, wanting to find some bold rebuttal, but you found yourself at a loss.

“I thought so.” Mako stopped for a moment in thought, as if he were revisiting something he’d rather forget about. “My head’d been a mess, too, once. Ignoring it helped, out _there_. Had no one, then. Had no choice. But you do.”

He kissed your cheek, his stubble tickling you as he planted more down your neck until he reached your shoulders. The contact made you giggle, much to your chagrin.

“Mako…” you whined with a half-smile.

“Alright,” he said, taking in a deep, staggered breath. “What d’you want me to do?”

Fighting every urge to lay down and hide under the sheets, you climbed up onto his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck. You felt Mako’s stomach rise and fall as you tightened your hold, taking in how warm he was, how his muscles shifted beneath his skin, flexing as he eagerly shifted to accommodate you. He helped keep you steady, hands on your hips with great care while you kissed him softly on his lips. “Stay,” you said, gingerly threading your fingers through his white hair. You placed another tender kiss on his bruised knuckles, which left him blushing ever so slightly. “Just stay.”

There was a pleased rumble in his throat, as if that’s all he was desperately waiting to hear. “I can do that.”

“I know this isn’t easy,” you whispered. “I think I’m gonna need more time until I feel like myself again.”

“I’m not planning on going anywhere,” he replied.

“Good.” Exhaustion was quickly creeping over you, but you still smiled, giving him one more kiss on the cheek before scooting off him. Despite your half-lidded eyes, you began to prep his modified CPAP machine for the night. “You know what we’ll do?” you said, making sure a fresh canister of Hogdrogen was secured to the device. “When this is all over, we’ll go somewhere nice together.” You smirked for a second at his silence, wrapping up your nightly routine. “Don’t worry – Jamison can come, too.”

Mako gave a sleepy chuckle as you handed him the primary tube, which he attached to his mask. Helping bring it to his face, you helped make sure there were no oxygen leaks along the seals. It sounded like his breathing became smoother, much to your relief, as Mako reached for your hand to guide you back to your spot beside him.

He cracked his neck briefly, then laid down flat on his back, letting you draw the blankets back up over you two while he dimmed the lights using a bedside switch. You both became entangled in darkness, leaving only the blinking green indicator of the machine to be the remaining source of light.

A few moments passed, and you found yourself slowly starting to relax more and more as you synchronized your breathing with his. “Mako,” you said.

Hearing his name come from your voice made it feel tangible, like it was home; it anchored him down in the moment with you, and you with him.

“Hm,” he grunted, squeezing you as gently as he could in response.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He always said those words slowly, like he was sure he’d mess them up every time, or like he was saying them in a language he didn’t know. Hooking his arm around you, Mako drew you closer and made sure you were well-covered by the sheets. “You okay?”

You briefly hummed a lullaby into his skin. Hugging him tighter, you kissed his chest and felt sleep starting to take you. “I will be.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Your kudos and comments are greatly appreciated.
> 
> And to my Suo Motu readers - Thank you for your patience. I hope to post a new chapter soon! :) I suffered a computer crash over the summer and am trying to keep up with school at the moment, but updates are in the works!


End file.
